Saturday, April 30, 2011

Clues Through Siblings

I wonder often, what would Jairus be like today if he were alive?

Hazen 4 months old
In the womb, he moved similarly to Emma. He was always doing somersaults and flips. I used to tell Mark he was so joyful. Would he be calm and smiley, like Emma was at this age?

When he was born he looked just like his brother Hazen, except for the shock of black hair Jairus had. Would he be passionate and giggly maybe even colicky like Hazen was at this age?
Would he always want to face out and be a part of the action or snuggled into the Moby wrap as I went through the day? Would his favorite place be the exersaucer or the floor or the laps of his siblings? What does his smile look like? What's his laugh sound like in the ears? Would he be his Daddy's boy from day one or prefer his Mommy for this small window of his life before inevitably growing "too big" for that?

Emma 4 months old

These are the kind of things I wonder.
Things I miss experiencing with my little guy.
Things I'll never know in this life.

I do know a few things...

In the presence of the Lord, there is joy untold. Jairus is always filled with the joy of being with the Lord. All God's creatures there sing a new song. Jairus gets to sing, and dance in heaven. Christ went ahead and prepared a place for him. He is right where he is supposed to be, right where he was created to be. He is loved and cared for. He is a coheir with Christ. And he is happy.

And that'll get me through today.

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