We just put the kids to bed and I just realized that while we got some video of today, I took zero pictures with my camera of the kids! Luckily, Oma and Opa (my parents) snapped quite a few so I'll get some up a different time. Mommy fail.
Our first Christmas without Jairus had its ups and downs. Through God's grace we had many laughs as well as tears and enjoyed our older children immensely as we celebrated the birth of our Savior.
Christmas Eve was the tougher day of the two for whatever reason. I woke up with a list of things I hoped to accomplish and the more I pushed to "do it right" and "be happy" the crabbier and sadder I got. Luckily my wonderful husband reminded me its ok to be sad, even at Christmas, and that I don't have to try to fake happiness for Emma and Hazen. Seems simple, but its hard to remember sometimes in the scramble to create memories for them while they are young. I spent some time alone at the cemetery which I find very peaceful. Its good to be by myself sometimes so I can stop running around doing 5 things at once and just be. Then Mark and I snuggled in for a movie and we spent the evening at church. Lots of tears, lots of memories of last year but also so much hope for the Truth in the manger.
Christmas Day has been a good day, we woke early and, once the coffee was brewing, tore through all the presents before breakfast (I don't think we could have stopped the kids if we'd tried!). Next we headed back to church and were greatly encouraged by the Good News of keeping the Main thing of Christmas, the Main thing. Then the cemetery to add jingle bells to Jairus's decorations. We spent the rest of the day just relaxing with my parents, playing with the kids, eating and napping. Its been a quiet Christmas compared to those in the past, but a good Christmas.
I find I don't have the frenzied excited feeling I have in past Christmases, in its place is something deeper, quieter, a hopeful joy for the long awaited Savior and His eventual return. At the end of the day, no matter the day, He's all that matters. He came for us, to save us, to bring us home. He brought my son already, someday I'll get to go too. And then I too will get to live in the perfection of Life with Jesus. All because of what happened on Christmas.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that who ever believes in Him would not perish but have eternal life!